Ah I love these affirmations and the way they are becoming part of who I am.
One thing I’ve learned already?
It’s way easier to be obedient at the beach.
Home is full of….I wanna say, people?
And today was legit another doozy and it started with me.
I woke up anxious today. Thankfully I was able to recognize it before it got too out of hand. I attribute that to these affirmations. There’s a slowing down when it comes to writing these. And that slowing down has allowed me to realize what I’m feeling in my body in a way I haven’t before.
This morning, definitely anxiety. So I got up, took the dog for a walk, blasted the worship music, and came home to a whole scene.
“Okay here we go,” I thought.
I got ready for church. I got a kid to go with me who I angered the night before because I’m still human and a work in progress.
But she didn’t trust me. So I said how about this: “I will pay you $250 if I yell at you on the way to church. You have my word.”
Now she was listening.
In her defense, I yell. I keep it together until I don’t and I yell. And sadly that has been their experience of me.
One that I am committed to changing every moment of every day. Hence the $250 promise
We had a good talk on the way to church. She’s been hurt by me and she’s scared to trust me.
“I get it,” I told her, “but it sure feels like you’ve given up on me and that breaks my heart. Because honey, to be honest, you’ve hurt me and I won’t ever give up on you.”
Her face: 
“Oh,” she said softly. “I can see that.”
Thank you Jesus. No yelling means connecting with her. I’m here for it.
Then church and then LITERALLY an argument outside of church afterwards. That was real fun. Real fun.
Lunch alone as it’s not my day with the kids. Lots of praying for me and reading honestly. I was anxious and now I was mad. Pretty explosive combo.
I headed home honestly kinda irritated with God. Kinda like “Hello?! Why aren’t you fixing this?!” But still willing to be obedient. I heard Him say to me on the way home “Be quiet.”
I did it. Almost. Kinda got crabby and *might* have put these items on the floor because I was sick of people’s crap in my shower.
Grace.
Work. In. Progress.
And then I think God was like okay she needs a nap because if she won’t be quiet, Imma make her be quiet.
I woke up feeling better but the anxiety tried to creep in. It was time to pay first of month bills. “Nope, I thought. I will not be anxious about anything. Anything.”
So I prayed and said “Please let me be able to pay them.”
Guess what I heard?
“The money is there.”
The money was there to do it and a bit left over. Praise God!
And then.
Then the worst thing happened.
The grocery store.
At 4:15pm.
On a Sunday.
Literally kill me now. Kill. Me. Now.
Y’all I love H-E-B more than anything. All Texans do.
But I love it on Tuesday morning when y’all are at work.
Omg the panic when I pulled in. So many cars. So many.
“I can do this,” I thought. “I can do this.”
I walk in and omg. So many people.
Y’all can we talk about this for a minute?
Men, I love you dearly but I can’t with y’all at the grocery store. Can we have a day, maybe Monday (?), when y’all do your grocery shopping?
Then there’s the families. Bless. If you saw all 5 Snyder’s grocery shopping together on a Sunday afternoon you would literally experience WWIII. I talked to another mom in line about this. She confirmed it about her family too.
Then there are our elderly. I love y’all but I’m shocked you would want to be in this madhouse when you can literally go anytime.
Then there was this mom wandering around muttering out loud “I will not freak out. I will not have a panic attack. I can do all things.”
That mom was me.
You know what I realized in that moment?
All these people at the grocery store, they were fine.
It was me that was having the issue.
And in that moment I gave myself so much Grace. And then got the heck out of there!
What’s been amazing to me as I walk on this journey is how these Scriptures are changing my life.
After I got home from the store, I took over parenting duties until Tuesday. I gathered the kids around the table and said let’s pray.
“Lord, there are a lot of hurt feelings at this table from this past weekend and week. No one trusts me and I get that because I’m not sure I trust me. But I trust you and as long as I’m listening to you, I can do this.”
Y’all my kids
We had a great night! Made dinner together, they played, we sang and danced. Even Rosie got in on it!
Best. Night. Ever.
Friends, I share this with you because where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. I get that now.
If you are feeling oppressed, pray and ask Him for peace.
If you are feeling anxious, pray and ask for peace.
If you are feeling angry, pray and ask for peace.
It’s there and when you pray and LISTEN for the response, you will get it every time. And you may even get a nap out of it!
What do you need to pray for today and ask for peace?
Do you want a copy of the 100 Biblical Affirmations for peace? Click here to download your copy!
0 Comments