On Monday I left home in a fit of anger and rage.
I was burnt out.
And it was a long time coming.
This past summer, I scared myself.
A thought popped into my head: “I don’t want to coach people anymore. I am sick of it. I am sick of people.”
And it shocked me.
That’s not me. Never has been.
I love people. I always have. I love hearing their stories. I love hearing their problems.
From a young age, strangers will come up to me and randomly tell me their problems.
From Minnesota to Texas, strangers will say to me “Have we met? Did we go to high school together?” “Nope! Not unless you went to Waterloo West!”
It’s the way God made me, through my parents.
My parents and I have a complicated relationship. We always have.
Today God directed me to send them the text you see below.
Honestly?
I didn’t want to.
I come from really good German stock.
You know the kind that don’t talk about feelings or emotions?
Yup those kind. On both sides. I am 99% German.
So to send that text made me WILDY uncomfortable.
But I am now on a mission to say yes to everything God asks me to do. So I took a deep breath, I wrote it, and I hit send.
This week I have been focused on three things:
1. Being obedient to God
2. Talking to people
3. Loving on people
Number one I get from God.
Number two I get from my dad.
Number three I get from my mom.
And after I sent that text, God showed that to me.
If you know my dad, he doesn’t have a lot of words. He lived in a house full of women for 20 years. Bless his heart. I think the guys at the shop probably heard more words from him than we ever did.
But there’s one thing about my dad that I absolutely love.
Whenever we go ANYWHERE, he talks to people.
Servers, bus drivers, airport workers, everyone. He once made a guy that sold stuff on the beach in Hualtulco his best friend. Brought him tennis shoes one year! (Marci remember that?!)
He doesn’t talk about himself. He asks them about them. Their stories. He asks them all kinds of questions.
Shortly after the murder of a black man in Minneapolis by a police officer, my then husband I were eating lunch at a hotel restaurant in Bloomington. I remember our server was a woman and she was African-American.
I started talking to her. Found out she was working there to put her son through college at Drake in Des Moines. She was so proud of him!
After she walked away, Bill said “When we first got together I used to get really uncomfortable when you did that and now I love it.”
“Did what?” I asked?
“Talk to people like that and listen to their stories,” he replied.
Without missing a beat, I said “Oh! I get that from my dad. He does that.”
Then there’s my mom. She is the definition of “I would give you the shirt off my back.” But she has one requirement.
She doesn’t want to be recognized for it.
My grandpa was a good man, but he could be a little flashy with his giving.
My mom and my aunt are not like that.
My mom sees a need, quietly goes to the store, and quietly delivers what that person needs.
Without really realizing it until this week, I am the best of both of them and I am so grateful, so grateful for the gifts they have given me. And I’m grateful that I can now look at their gifts and not at their hurt.
But I was burnt out.
I wasn’t talking to people at restaurants. I talk to people for a living. I was burnt out from it.
I wasn’t giving. I figured I would give when I could afford it.
This week God has called me to talk to people and to give to them. I’ve been obedient and listened to Him.
And you know what He did?
He strengthened me.
After I had been suffering for a little while.
He perfected, confirmed, strengthened, and established me.
Shortly after that text, I heard God saying it’s time to go home and leave my little island paradise.
On the way out of town I heard Him say, “Stop and eat lunch. Get whatever you want.”
That one I had no problem listening to.
Yes, God I will!
I had just sat down and this couple walks in with their daughter. They in their 60’s, their granddaughter, or their daughter as they call her, who will be 3 next month.
The server asked where they wanted to sit and he exclaimed “Wherever will make my wife happy because as long as she’s happy, I am happy!”
He’s one of those Texans. Big, booming voice. Big presence.
She smiled and softly said “Right here is fine.”
Then he said “And whatever makes you happy too Vivi, that will make dad happy!”
Then he looked over at me and said “M’am what can I do to make you happy?”
I said “Sir, you have already made me happy the way you honored your wife and your daughter. We need more men in the world like you.”
His wife quietly said, “Amen.”
We chatted a bit and they invited me to sit with them so I did. I told them what I was down here doing. I mentioned Shelly’s cards. She asked to see them and started to read them.
We got to talking and I asked about their granddaughter.
They told me the story. Mom went to a good Christian private university for college and fell into the wrong crowd. Drugs. She lives on the streets in Belton not too far from where I live.
“But,” he said, “There was a miracle when Vivi was born. They tested her for drugs. Not one ounce of drugs in her body.”
“Praise Jesus,” I said.
“Praise Jesus,” they replied.
He said, “You know what I wish I would have done when my kids were this age? Slowed down. Taken them to the beach more. But we were so busy trying to make a living, it was hard.”
“I get it,” I said. “I feel the same way and I am sure my parents do too.”
Then I said to her, “You know, I sent this text to my parents. It was hard, but I am working on listening to God this week. I think He wanted my parents to see it and He wanted you to see it.”
She read it and softly said “Thank you.”
Then she said “Tell them you forgive them.”
I looked at her and she said “Trust me.”
So I did.
We chatted some more and they gave me some peace about a direction God is leading me and our family. Boy does God know how to bring the right people together at the right time! When you are listening for His voice that is!
After lunch we went our separate ways— them to find sand dollars on San Jose Island, me back to Austin to be with my babies.
I stopped on the way out of town to pick up something for the kids. When I was checking out, I saw a sand dollar magnet with Port Aransas, Texas written on it. I bought it as a reminder that God will strengthen me when I suffer. To remind me to slow down and talk to people. To remember that I feel best when I am giving.
I got those lessons from my Father.
From my dad.
And from my mom.
Friends, if you are struggling I would love for you to reach out to God. Get quiet, get still, and listen to His voice. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. And I know, I know, we’ve all heard that story millions of times. It can be hard to fathom if you grew up with less than perfect parents which we ALL did.
God will strengthen you.
And then for good measure, no matter how uncomfortable, send your parents a text and say thank you. And if your parents are gone, you can say it out loud. I am sure God will get them the message.
Do you want a copy of the 100 Biblical Affirmations for peace? Click here to download your copy!
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